Okay with Pretending
by loveayemwhy
Summary: Imogen Moreno was usually selfless, giving her time and effort towards making other people happy. However, in this instance, she could be considered selfish beyond reason.  She craved more from him.  Rated M for later chapters!
1. Your Song

**Author's note:  
>I started to write about Adam and BOOM! This came to my mind.<br>I hope it was okay, let me know if you want me to continue this story.  
><strong>**REVIEW PLEASE?  
>Song: 'Your Song' -Ellie GouldingElton John **

Imogen Moreno was like a warrior.  
>Everyday seemed like a constant battle: going against society's rules, arguing with the voices in her head, and trying to convince Eli of the fact that he was over Clare.<br>He wasn't, she knew this- but she was okay with pretending.

**x.**

It started on the day of the stinkbomb- the people watching, that is.  
>She had seen Clare Edwards set it off, but it triggered her curiosity.<br>What had been the motive? Setting off a stinkbomb on a major test date didn't seem like something Clare Edwards would do.

So, she followed Clare outisde to where she saw Eli join Adam in the school parking lot.  
>She wasn't sure if it was right for her to go and follow people like this, but she was okay with pretending.<p>

It intrigued her, how three completely different people managed to form bonds together, and become friends so quickly. The 'misfits' as she liked to call them, they didn't have a definite leader, but they managed to avoid major conflicts- that is, until **he** came into the picture.

**xx.**

Mark Fitzgerald, how would she begin to describe him? He was known around Degrassi for being a 'bully', a bad influence, and a mystery. Other than his relatively small group of friends, no one really knew much about him. Imogen, was determined to change that. She secretly befriend Mark, who was hesitant at first to let her in.

As their friendship grew, she discovered that he was physically abused at home. Before he realized his motives behind his behaviors- she had already known. The feeling of power was addictive to him- he having lacked it for so long.

_It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide. I don't have much money, but boy if I did. I'd buy a big house, where we both could live._

She learned that he himself had feelings for Clare Edwards, this intrigued her further. What was it about Clare Edwards? From her observations, she didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. She seemed well, old fashioned really. Maybe that was the key- to be timeless, unaware of the change, fearless of judgement (or rather, just be good at hiding your reactions).

So that's what she did, she decided to take key elements from the 'misfits' and mold herself into the person she wished that she could be. They wouldn't accept her, but she was okay with pretending.

That's when Mark became distant, after Vegas night- the night he had been preparing for, to come up with the courage to tell Clare how he felt- he shied away from others. At the detention center, he never got any visitors, until one day Imogen decided to see him. He never felt too attached to her, but she was okay with pretending.

**xxx.**

He saw her approach, and instantly was reminded of…_them._  
>Her desire to be different, her desire to be accepted, and her desire to stay true to 'herself'.<br>_Eli, Adam, and Clare._  
>The names pained him, as he reflected on what happened.<br>Mark Fitzgerald was tired, exhausted from always being the last resort.  
>She had told him to go after Clare, she was the one who urged him to do this- open up his feelings.<br>He had failed, and she was to blame.  
>Truthfully, that wasn't the case- but he was okay with pretending.<p>

**xxxx.**

She hesitated as she approached him.  
>He was sitting at a table for two, with a guard standing behind him a few feet away.<br>The hurt in his eyes was obvious, and she wanted to make it all better.  
>With a deep breath, she strode forward and sat down infront of him.<br>They exchanged greetings and she asked him about what had happened the night before.  
>Strangely, it didn't feel like old times- but she was okay with pretending.<p>

Then, with a few words, it all changed.  
>Mark Fitzgerald had turned against her, she apologized- for she was unaware of the consequences at the time. It didn't matter, <strong>she <strong>didn't matter. To him, this was just an easy goodbye.

Really, it wasn't- but he was okay with pretending.


	2. Starry Eyed

**Author's Note:  
>Thanks for giving this a chance!<br>This is just a slow transition period I guess, there will be more Eli/Clare/Adam in future chapters.  
>Hope you enjoy! Please Review! <strong>

_So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do. See I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue. Anyway the thing is- what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen._

She had seen Eli compliment Clare on her eyes, not purposefully- but in passing as she walked over to the steps of Degrassi. She didn't mean to eavesdrop, but that **didn't** stop her from overhearing. Imogen knew, that there was a spark between Eli and Clare- but she was okay with pretending as if there wasn't.

**x.**

She had been attending Degrassi for three years, going un-noticed by most people- except when they'd comment on her choice of clothing, or her dramatic outbursts. It wasn't as if she tried to negatively isolate herself from the rest of her peers, but the differences in their priorities excluded her from most of the people her age. Still, she **tried** to keep her head high even when she felt so low, but she was okay with pretending.

**xx.**

She was in his drama class, and she saw that he wasn't very popular either. He received some of those same looks that she grew to be so familiar with. However, he didn't react at all. It was as if he had a force field up, or some sort of fence surrounding him. She noticed that there were certain days where he'd smile throughout the class, and even offer to help out Ms. Dawes pass out papers. At first she was perplexed- weren't all the high school boys supposed to have crushes on teachers like Ms. Oh? Then, she noticed that those were the same days that Clare or Adam- sometimes even both, would meet him at the door after class. She always **hoped** silently that they'd be there at the end of class, she loved seeing him smile. Sure, they weren't directed at her, but that didn't stop her from pretending.

**xxx.**

It got difficult, as her friendship with Mark grew, he could tell that her mind was elsewhere. Imogen had begun to have feelings for Mark, but for some reason, she wouldn't act upon them. It was because, Mark wasn't **him- **but she was okay with pretending.

Unfortunately for her, he wasn't. She'd be there for him, listening to his stories about the abuse, offering advice and even a place to stay. He never took her up on that offer though, he knew that it wasn't a line that he wanted to cross. To him, Imogen was like… a therapist if you will. He had to let out his problems, and she was there to hear him out. He knew that she had a crush on Goldsworthy, and even though Mark himself didn't have any romantic feelings for Imogen- he was tired of being the second choice. He saw her reactions whenever he'd bring up his annoyance with the misfits- particularly **Eli**. That's when the true animosity began.

**xxxx.**

After she had let her interest slip verbally, he tensed up. She saw, and hastily changed the subject. They were sitting out on her deck, away from the sight of any people from school. She had called it their 'hideout'. He'd always humor her and ask to meet her there whenever he had a lot on his mind. He knew that he was leading her on, and that her infatuation with Eli wouldn't work out either, but that didn't stop him from pretending. He needed her to be there, not romantically- but to be the person who would listen to him no matter what. You see, Mark Fitzgerald knew nothing about love- but that didn't stop him from pretending. Besides, Imogen wasn't the type of girl he wanted. Mark always wanted what he couldn't have- which almost never worked out, but that didn't stop him from pretending.

**xxxxx.**

She hadn't shown up one day, he'd waited on her deck- leaning back on the wooden bench that sat on top of it. They had made plans earlier, but she never showed up. This wasn't like her- and it worried him. Not for her sake, but for his- his family had been at it again, and if he didn't talk to someone about what had happened he felt as though he'd explode. Mark Fitzgerald was being selfish, and after two hours of waiting- she still hadn't come outside. He let out a sigh and walked to the front of her house, knocking on the front door three times.

Her mom answered, and she was surprised to see him standing there. She knew that he and Imogen would get together and talk, but other than the "thank you's" she'd receive after handing him a snack- they'd never directly interacted. He asked about her daughter's whereabouts, and she let him know that she went straight to her room afterschool and hadn't come out since. Opening the door further, she allowed him inside- giving him directions to her room.

He took the stairs two at a time, and knocked softly on the door once. No answer. With a deep breath, he opened the door and saw that she was asleep. Just as he was about to leave, a single word escaped her lips and his heart sank.

_Eli._ Even in her dreams, he came in second. It wasn't fair- he didn't see the logic. She had liked him **first**, and they interacted on a regular basis. Why was _Eli_ constantly taking over her thoughts? Angrily, he stormed out, and vowed that he'd change his status of being second best- once and for all. Deep down, he knew that wouldn't happen, but it didn't stop him from pretending.


	3. Guns and Horses

**Author's Note:  
>Song- "Guns and Horses"-Ellie Goulding<br>Kind of on an Ellie Goulding kick, can you tell? :p  
>I changed the rating to M, for future chapters.<br>This one features Adam, Imogen, Fitz, and some Eli.  
>Tell me what you think? <strong>

**[Imogen's POV]**

The next day, Eli came into drama class wincing. He held onto the crook of Clare's elbow as they walked into class together. Slightly staggering, he couldn't take his usual long strides.  
>"It's okay, Eli. We'll just tell Simpson about Fitz", Clare told him comfortingly as she made her way towards the door.<br>"Clare, the guy is a menace! He needs to be taught a lesson!"  
>"Eli, we'll talk about this later, I have to get to class now- don't do anything rash", she warned him as she left the classroom. Imogen heard him let out a defeated sigh as he took his usual seat. With great difficulty, Imogen looked away to face Ms. Dawes and listen to her lecture. Ironically enough, they were about to learn the art of revenge.<p>

_You're so quiet, but it doesn't faze me. You're on time, you move so fast makes me feel lazy. Let's join forces. We've got our guns and horses. I know you've been burned, but every fire is a lesson learned._

She saw a glint of inspiration in his eyes- and watched as he hastily took out his notebook from his black backpack. Rifling through the pages, he finally found a page that wasn't cluttered with words or drawings. Ms. Dawes cleared her throat and Imogen looked up quickly, as a blush spread on her cheeks. She maintained eye contact with Ms. Dawes, until the latter looked away. Casually, she tilted her head to the side, thus allowing her to see Eli's paper, but still face Ms. Dawes. She gasped quietly when she saw what he had written.

_**Revenge: Fitz.  
>His interests: Smoking, drinking, beating up on other people.<br>Brainstorm: No go on the cigarettes, but can photoshop him…a fake id. That'll tie in all three.  
>Plan of Action: Make fake id, deliver, and 'fight' until the cops show up.<strong>_

She had to warn Mark, but a part of her wanted to see how this would play out. Imogen Moreno, was conflicted. She was supposed to be Mark's 'friend', not Eli's- but that didn't stop her from pretending.

**x. [Imogen's POV]**

_Let's type the words, because they amount to nothing. Play it down. Pretend you can't take what you found. But you found me, on a screen you sit at permanently._

**iMoreno: Mark, I need to tell you something. Meet me at the hideout in 20 minutes?**

She took a deep breath as she sent that im to Mark. After debating with herself internally during her walk home- she decided that she owed it to Mark, to let him know of Eli's plan. After getting changed out of her uniform, she grabbed a pitcher of lemonade along with two cups and headed out to her deck. She was ten minutes early, but Imogen was always like that. She had heard a quote once- in one of her mom's parenting cds, "If one is always ten minutes early, there is no need to stress over being late." As cliché as that sounded, she took it upon herself to always be punctual. It was one of her- defining traits. She poured herself a glass of lemonade, sat back in her chair and looked up at the clouds as she waited.

**xx. [Mark's POV]**

He still felt hurt- and that was new to him. Mark Fitzgerald, felt…hurt. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. Physical pain didn't affect him anymore, after the constant abuse he experienced at home- it made him numb. Verbally, the abuse was different. At home, he wasn't emotionally attached to anyone enough for their words to have any sort of affect on him- but with Imogen, it was different. Sure, he didn't love her, but she was the first person he trusted- and that had some sort of emotional attachment behind it, right?

He had waited two whole hours for her, just to talk. Mark wasn't the type to do something like that. Even if he was trying to stall, kill some time before going home- he still never depended on people. Having to always fend for himself, it made him wary and guarded around others. Especially for people like Imogen, but around her he wasn't, and he wasn't sure what that meant- but that didn't stop him from pretending.

He received the im on his phone, and stared at the screen for a few minutes- debating on whether or not to go. Just as he was about to reply- his thoughts brought him back to hearing her say **his** name in her sleep. That was the deciding factor for Mark- and he roughly put his phone away after texting Owen and asking him to chill at the Ravine. She didn't show up yesterday, and he never got any explanation- so he could do the same once…right? He knew that wasn't the right thing to do- but that didn't stop him from pretending.

**xxx. [Adam's POV]**

They hadn't been friends for long, but he could already tell that something was wrong. Adam wasn't very judgmental- he wasn't in a position to really judge anyone. However, he knew that there was something off with Eli; he just could put a name on what it was. He sensed the excessive paranoia, the need to feel in control of fate, and the desire to isolate himself from the rest of his peers. Despite all of those things, Adam never brought them up. He was in dire need of a friend- and that's what Eli was. Through all their differences, they needed each other. Adam knew that he should probably tell someone about the things he noticed when he was with Eli or else something might potentially happen- but that didn't stop him from pretending.

He had received a text from Eli in between classes telling him that they needed to meet up in the computer lab during lunch. So after finishing up his sandwich, Adam headed over to the lab and saw Eli sitting behind a computer staring at the screen intently as his right hand hovered over the mouse. Taking a seat next to his best friend, he heard Eli mutter a single word that made Adam's ears perk up, "Fitz".  
>"What about the Neanderthal?" Adam had heard the frustrated tone in Eli's voice and it made him curious as to what had happened. Eli wordlessly pointed to the screen, and Adam's eyes followed seeing that Eli had photo-shopped Fitz's face onto what appeared to be a fake i.d.<br>"Wh-what's that for, Eli? Wait- where'd you learn how to…? What happened?" Adam asked frantically, he knew that Eli had a flair for the dramatic and he didn't want this feud to get too out of hand.  
>"Relax, machismo- it's all part of the plan. A way to get bullies to stop- you just, have to keep them…scared." Eli replied calmly.<br>Adam shook his head slowly, "Fine, Eli… just keep me out of this."

**xxxx. [Imogen's POV]**

He never showed up, and he never replied. She frantically racked through her mind, trying to justify what he would ignore her that way. Imogen came up empty handed- there wasn't anything that she could think of, Mark couldn't know about her crush on Eli though- right? That was, utterly impossible- she had never intentionally mentioned Eli, nor did she go out of her way to avoid him. She hurriedly turned around when she heard the door creak open, but her smile slowly worked itself downwards when she realized that it was just her mom.  
>"Imo, sweetie- I forgot to tell you but that Mark boy stopped by yesterday. He went up to your room to see you, but told me that you were sleeping. Seemed like he was waiting for a while."<br>Imogen stood up quickly, "He- he did? What? Okay thanks mom! I have to go see him, I'll be back in a few hours!" She set down her lemonade on a side table and ran into the house reaching for a jacket and her shoes. As she exited the front door, she tried thinking of where he could be. Home? No, he hated going there. The Dot? Not likely. The…Ravine! It hit her like a jolt of lightning, and that's when she started sprinting. Although she had a crush on Eli, that didn't stop her feelings towards Mark- with their type of friendship, it was inevitable that she'd fall for him. She knew that he wouldn't ever return those feelings, but that didn't stop her from pretending.

_I left my house, I left my clothes. Door wide open, never knowing. You're so worthy, you are. But I wish I could feel it all for you. I wish I could be it all for you. If I could erase the pain, and maybe you'd feel the same. I'd do it all for you, I would._


	4. Every Time You Go

**Author's note: SORRY! I've just been uninspired to continue this story, I hope you do forgive me though. I plan on finishing the story before the end of the year. Fingers crossed ! Song is "Every time you go"- Ellie Goulding. **

**Review Review Review?**

* * *

><p>He was busy chugging his 4th can of beer at the ravine with his friends Owen and Bianca. They weren't his true friends, but he spent his time with them regardless. It was a superficial friendship- they felt comfortable in each others' presence, but never comfortable enough to really talk about much.<p>

The beer in his hand was affecting his mood, made him spiral slowly down into a darker place. He just wanted to forget.

There she was. In his thoughts again. He was helpless- helplessly in love.

He didn't know it yet, although the beer was aiding his inevitable realization.

_Now I'm tired of trying to keep you, all I want to do is sleep._

It wasn't normal. How the hell did a person like Imogen Moreno worm her way into his… heart? He wasn't even sure it existed until a few weeks ago.

As Owen rambled off on some girl he had been trying to get with, Fitz didn't make an effort to seem attentive. He just shrugged and walked away, deciding that he'd take the next beer while he was sitting.

He was crazy. He must've been, because Fitz could've sworn that he heard her voice right then and there.

Looking around, he saw her standing behind a tree with her head poking out to the side. She looked lost and slightly afraid.

With a soft groan, he stood up and held out his palm to stop Owen from harrassing her. Making his way over to where she was standing he raised a brow, "Thought this wasn't your scene, Moreno."

With a small smile, she replied, "I'm not here to play, Fitz- I'm here… with a warning". To add to her flair for the dramatics she put a hand on her heart and gazed off towards the "horizon".

_I know that you're clever, and I don't ask for much._

Fitz smirked, he was used to her acting like this- but he knew that his other friends were curious as to why he wasn't making fun of her. Lowering his voice he spoke, "Go back to the hideout, I guess we can talk there- I'll meet you in…. 10 minutes or so."

"I'll hold you to that, Fitzgerald. You will not, stand me up for a second time- you hear?" She questioned with a new British accent.

Rolling his eyes at her, he nodded slightly before walking over to his friends and telling them that he had to head home before it got dark. They reluctantly agreed and let him go without badgering him too much, and he was on his way.

_And we part with a letter, and it ends in my name._

She smiled to herself as she walked home. Imogen knew that she had made the right decision of telling Fitz, and was glad that he actually planned on following through with talking to her. However, she did still wonder as to why he didn't show up that one day- shrugging, she decided that she'd find out a way to get him to tell her.

_I run a mount to meet you, when I knew a storm had come._

Running up her driveway and around the side of the house, she walked up the stairs to her deck and took a seat on one of the chairs.

Imogen heard footsteps approaching not too long afterwards. For such a strong person, he took quiet steps.

A small grin started forming on her face until she remembered the news that she had to deliver to him. He greeted her with a small nod as he took a seat next to her, pulling her legs onto his lap.

_I know what you're thinking, it will never be the end._

This was natural, for them atleast. As the days went by, each of them fell into a more comfortable level with the other- which is why it surprised Imogen that he hadn't shown up that one afternoon.

She knew that he had to keep some secrets from her though, and she didn't hold it against him- after all, who was she to judge?

"Imo, what was so important that you had to track me down to the Ravine?", Fitz inquired as he rested his arms on her legs and toyed with his fingertips.

She inhaled deeply and began, "Eli's plotting against you", she paused as she heard him snort, "It's true- he made a list and he's started planning…just be careful, okay?"

_Tape me up, then break me up- ever so gently, when I'm at my weakest._

He moved and began playing with the frayed ends of her jeans. Fitz wasn't worried, he'd endured far worse than anything that emo-boy could pull. "You'd think that he was in love with me, the way I spend so much time in his thoughts."

Fitz liked seeing her smile, usually she'd just smirk- but being able to see her white teeth against her dark lips, it was- breath taking.

No, wait- no. It wasn't. It couldn't be. This was Mark Fitzgerald we were talking about. He didn't like Imogen. It wasn't possi- No, it just couldn't happen.

_Maybe we forgot all the things we are- we are together._

She couldn't help but laugh. This was the guy she wished the whole world could see. Secretly though, she was glad that he only opened up to her. She was afraid that if everyone knew what type of person he was- he'd leave her for them.

Imogen Moreno was usually selfless, giving her time and effort towards making other people happy. However, in this instance, she could be considered selfish beyond reason.

She craved more from him.

_I really thought that we'd go further, the second time we'd meet.  
><em>

It won't happen. She reminded herself, but she couldn't keep from hoping. Eli was out of her grasp for now, but Fitz- he wasn't so far off.

She just wished that it would happen, but she was too afraid of scaring him off to try anything.

_Didn't know the price I paid for all the times I stayed._

He took in a deep breath and avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry that I didn't show up the other day…I just, had a lot on my mind."

She was silent, and he appreciated that.

"It's just that, I did stop by the day before- and … when were you going to tell me that you had a crush on Goldsworthy? Why'd you rat him out if you liked him?"

_Tape me up, then break me so gently, while I'm at my weakest._

She didn't answer, and it hurt him. Even though he'd never admit it- not yet anyways, it still hurt. He made a movement to stand up, but she put a hand on his shoulder, "It's just a harmless crush. It's stupid, and I know- but I'd all but given up on being with who I really wanted. I understand that both were just … not meant to be."

He heard her voice shaking, and it caused him to grimace. She was the closest person to him- and he hated seeing her upset.

"Both? Wh-what do you mean, both?", he asked as he turned to look at her.

This time, she avoided his gaze until he brought his hand under her chin and lifted her head gently.

A slight blush appeared on her cheeks. She mumbled a quiet response. It was a short word, only three letters- but it changed everything. "You".

_Maybe we forgot, are we awake or not?_

Stunned. That was the only thing that could describe him at this point. A part of him felt satisfied, that emo-boy hadn't stolen all of her affection. Another part of him was genuinely happy, and a third part was left confused.

Why him? Rather than dwell on the unknown, he decided to act on his instincts.

Using the hand that was under her chin still, he guided her face towards his and gave her a gentle kiss. With anyone else, he might've started it rough- but this wasn't just anyone.

_Wake me up, wake me up- stop my fall, every time you go._

She was ecstatic. Wrapping her arms around him, she deepened the kiss. Imogen was surprised at his carefulness. She had heard about his hook-ups countless times, from people around school- and from Mark, himself.

Imogen felt him respond to the kiss, and shivered as one hand rested on her hip- and the other trailed its way down to the small of her back, from underneath her chin.

As the kiss slowed in pace, but not in intensity- she lifted her lips off of his, and leaned forward so their foreheads were touching.

"So, what does this mean?", she asked in a whisper.

"I-I don't know", he replied honestly.

_It's not so hard, every time you go._


End file.
